Thursday (March 24) night's "American Idol" begins with host Ryan Seacrest announcing that the votes are in. Actually, they're in again, but the first time they were in, they didn't count and you all wasted your time voting.

As FOX might say, "Hah, hah. We got our ratings, so cry us a river"

The show begins with a recap of Tuesday night's show. Given that Wednesday night was already an hour-long recap of Tuesday night's show, this may be a bit superfluous. Somewhat disappointingly, "American Idol" isn't metatextual enough to offer a full recap of Wednesday night's recap, showing one framing device within another. Sorry, but after an hour of "The O.C." my intellectual pump is primed for in-jokes, post-modernism and general self-absorption.

Apparently 31.5 million votes were cast on Wednesday night.

As FOX might say, "Hah, hah. Fooled you again and it's a ratings bonanza."

Then, all of the contestants turn to Scott Savol and sing a chorus of "He Ain't Heavy (He's My Brother)." It's much better than last week's group sing until Nikko Smith and Vonzell Solomon decide to sing their own chorus of "Ain't No Chorus Flat Enough." Scott later joins in with "Ain't No Verse Sharp Enough." As long as they're performing as individuals, it isn't brutal, but when they decide to come together, it appears that nobody bothered teaching them about the principles of harmony. My favorite image is of Anthony Fedorov covering his ear to better listen to his own part. That's a great idea. When I cover both of my ears with my headphones and put on a recording of The Hollies singing the song, it does sound much better.

The "Idol" Finalists are miniaturized in this week's Ford commercial. Set to the tune of "All-Star," it doesn't make a lick of sense, but the production values are especially high. Plus, Anwar Robinson is holding a giant Q-Tip in one shot.

Then, Ryan gets ready to pull the Bottom Three. Viewers decided next week would be "Incomplete" without Nikko Smith. Fans opted to laugh with Constantine Maroulis' take on "I Think I Love You," rather than at his inability to carry a tune. Coming off one of the most praised performances in recent memory, Carrie Underwood is safe for another week. After a subdued rendition of "Time in a Bottle," Bo Bice and his soul patch will be back again next week. America gives a thumbs down to Nadia Turner's fauxhawk, putting her in the Bottom Three. Jessica Sierra isn't in any trouble, though I've already forgotten everything about her performance even though I've seen it twice now. To nobody's surprise, Mikalah Gordon joins Nadia in the Bottom Three. Scott did an unattractive striptease on Tuesday, but apparently viewers want to see more of the Round Mound of Sound (hopefully not too much more).

That leaves Anwar, Vonzell and Anthony to sweat it out while FOX provides viewers with a few more reminders about the premiere of "Life on a Stick." It's coming up next, kids. Don't forget. After plugging products, Anthony is sent off to the Bottom Three.

Ryan asks the judges which contestant they would save if they could. The crowd, in unison, yells Nadia's name. Randy agrees that Nadia should be safe. Paula's just happy she doesn't have to do jail time for her hit-and-run accident and she'd rather not make any more new enemies today. It turns out that Anthony is safe, meaning we're in for at least one more week of innocuous pop stylings. He can breathe easy. And if it turns out that he can't breathe easy, he's already familiar with the tracheotomy procedure.

Despite finding herself in great danger, Nadia has no regrets. She doesn't need to worry, because it's actually Mikalah's turn to go home.

Even as Jessica and Carrie break down in tears behind her, Mikalah puts on a happy face. Actually she may have put on the happy face in the make-up room before the show, but it still counts. The Las Vegas native wasn't the best singer or the best performer or the easiest contestant to watch, but the rest of this season is just going to be duller without her. Mikalah seems to have expected this and she's just as good humored as her fans could hope for and just as annoying as her detractors have come to expect.